A song is a living thing. Some of them grow into oak trees. Some die stillborn in the crib. The Muse can be puzzling, maddening, and elusive.
Once in a blue moon, though, she smiles on you. Like, the words “alive again” pop out of your mouth while you’re putting away the laundry. A whole melodic structure spills out too. Luckily, you have the wherewithal to hit record and manage to capture that initial burst in real-time. Still, you’re not sure what the song is really about. But you don’t futz with it. You put it in a drawer somewhere and forget about it.
Years pass. While you’re living your life, the song sits there in the dark, sporing like some kind of mysterious fungus. Eventually it starts glowing and calling to you. One Sunday afternoon, while doing some spring-cleaning, you open up the drawer, and there it is. “What’s this?” Many things have happened to you since you threw it in there. Monumental things. You left your band. Someone you loved hurt you. People let you down. Good things happened too. You started to sing again. You found allies in your time of need. You trained like a ninja in the Polish forest. You dust off the old demo, and you press play. Wow, that ditty is now resonating in a whole new way. Suddenly….it’s your life. You hear the words “alive again” and you understand. You know how to finish it. You’ve caught up to the song. You’ve grown and become worthy of it.
In the summer of 2014, three years after leaving my band- and two after a horrible break-up- I realized I wanted to record again. Through a friend I connected with a producer, Fraser McCulloch, and we hit it off. “Let’s start with this one,” I said. “And see how it goes.” With that, I cued up my voice memo from 4 years earlier. A day and a half later, “Alive Again” was born- the perfect lead off for a comeback. Fraser knocked it out of the park, we finished the album, and we’ve been working together ever since.
To this day, “Alive Again” remains one of the most personally meaningful songs in my catalogue. Here’s a SPOTIFY link if you want to hear it.
As always, thanks for listening.